1. Mohammed's Radio, Warren Zevon
If you told me the first time I heard this song that it would soon be one of my favorite songs, I'd have spat in your drink and called you a harlot. How wrong I would have hypothetically been. ANYWAYS, this is a wonderfully composed song, with movements that move and lyrical lyrics.
Warren Zevon, being of considerable talent (he boasted he could competently play any instrument in an orchestra), composed every part of his songs, from strings to piano to guitar to horns. Every time I listen to Mohammed's Radio (or as I like to call it, The Radio), I hear something fresh and new. The lyrics make very little sense when taken as a whole, and were inspired by a mentally handicapped man that Warren observed one Halloween, in Aspen, dressed as a sheik.
2. Roland The Headless Thompson Gunner, Excitable Boy
In only one other song is Zevon's storytelling ability more expertly displayed, and it's on this fucking list. Just chill. We're getting there.
This track, off of Zevon's breakthrough album (due in no small part to a song you WON'T see on this list, Werewolves of London), was the song that first tuned me into Zevon's voice. Dark, often humorous, with every word in the right place and every move at the right pace. I'd have to say that his lyrics are unparalleled in these verses.
3. Desperados Under The Eaves, Warren Zevon
A "riff" that serves as bookends on Warren's debut album (the album closes off with this song, and the first track, Frank and Jesse James, mimics Desperados' string intro), the lyrics (and stirring, symphonic string sounds slowly shushing, and suddenly surging, signifying satisfying serenity sweeping the sunset), and the rest of this song should always be described with gratuitous alliteration and over-use of parentheses (like this).
4. Lawyers, Guns, And Money, Excitable Boy
"Finally," the masses cried, "A rocker!"
Well, this is by far the rockin'ist track on Warren's most commercially (and arguably, critically) successful album. My theory on this song is that, when the producer came to Warren and said they needed two or three more tracks for the album, Warren went home and decided he didn't want Werewolves to be the hardest rocking song for the release. So he opened a bottle of vodka, drank it instantly, and went to his guitar and beat the noise out of it until this came out, waving a white flag.
"So," the masses again bellowed, "What's the last one?"
This song is 100% lyrics. Well, OK, the catchy horns help, but it's still the lyrics. They tell the story of the title sir who likes to have a good time, and doesn't care who gets hurt. Some selections from his life, showing how he got his nickname:
- stole furniture from housewives he boned and sold it in Spokane, WA
- worked in hair replacement, swindling the bald
- hired aboriginals to work opal mines, and "pauperized the lot."
Zevon at his story-telling greatest (told you it was coming) and likely funniest. He truly did it for the lulz. Also, this CD is out of print, so I guess if the internet didn't exist, this would be hard to find.
If you're not a Zevon fan yet, or God forbid you've never heard of him, go forth and download a free, surprisingly legal live show of his from 1992.* If you like what you hear, which you damn well better, go acquire his music, in this album order:
1. Excitable Boy- his first and probably best album. I always have a hard time choosing between this, his sophomore outing, and
2. Warren Zevon- his self-titled first album. Great songs, not a one worth losing.
3. The Wind- Zevon died in 2003 from inoperable mesothelioma (the cancer you might remember from class-action lawsuit commercials and the cancer that also felled the mighty Steve McQueen before HIS time). Having OCD and a phobia of doctors, Zevon made the remark on his final TV appearance (on his good friend David Letterman's show) that he "may have made a tactical error in not going to a physician for twenty years." Instead of making his peace with God and living out his days quietly, Warren cranked out a brand new album, written and recorded during his last year, and released about two weeks before his death. He even held on long enough to see the birth of his two twin grandsons. When he received his diagnosis, Zevon joked that he just wanted to live to see the next Bond movie. He did.
The kicker? One of the best albums I've ever heard.
Now stop reading and start listening.
Your man in the field,
Text Radio.
* 1/4 down the page, under the "Individual Files > Whole Item" column, click the "Size > 129 MB" link. Download 'em. Playable in iTunes. 100% legal, I promise.
